Apparently it is my turn for angst

Um... I haven’t written in a while. I blame Israel and the fact that I was there for three weeks. Now I am back and I’ve been home nearly two weeks so I really don’t have an excuse anymore.

So let’s grab the bull by the horns.

I think it is awesome for Mad King Thomas to be blogging, I am not sure about doing it myself.

I have really mixed feelings about writing and putting it out for anyone to read. It is an uncomfortable thing. Exposing. There is already so much of me that is available for public consumption, both because of this here digital era and because I decided to be a performer, and more specifically one who makes those performances and makes them about the things she is thinking about in her once-upon-a-time personal life.

I tried to be a grown-up for a while, keep things to myself, answer my own questions, make decisions alone. I stopped liking all my friends, so I stopped. In performance too, it seems a rare occasion where holding things close is an effective technique. In performance, it seems the more of myself I can give the better it is.

I used read blogs because they give me fodder to like the author less, which was awesome when I already disliked the author. And now I am authoring a blog to give you (some vague you, which is perhaps someone but perhaps not) fodder, I guess.

I have a desire to control how much of me is given but I am not sure that is going to work in my life, on this blog, on stage. And it seems that a fully embraced life creates the opportunity for a lot of exposure and takes a great deal of vulnerability. And I do want to embrace life fully, right?

So, here we are. Reservations have to be put out for the wolves. They are hungry. It was a cold winter.